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Wonkette is a political satire and gossip blog that details the goings-on of the political establishment in Wa [Read More]

Categories: Daily News/Current Events | Politics

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A Little Bit Of Christmas
An unsolicited submission from one among you that made me cry, and who wishes to remain anonymous. My older daughter must have been seven or eight when she asked me to tell her the truth about Santa.Truth is a dangerous thing as we all know. As Terry...
Friday, November 27, 2020

Buy Nothing Today! Unless You Really Want To Buy This!
Hey you guys wanna watch some long, inane, let's call them "meditative" videos, of my son pressing a shirt and burping, and me wrapping packages? YOU DO????? You are funny. Click through, they are in a "thread"! VERY EXCIT...
Friday, November 27, 2020

Wholesome American Guts: Your William S. Burroughs Thanksgiving Prayer 2020
Yr Wonkette began posting this Thanksgiving Prayer by William S. Burroughs and Gus Van Sant back in 2006, and quite a few things have changed since then. The deadpan list of Bloody American Triumphs is more relevant than ever in this Plague Year of...
Thursday, November 26, 2020

The Wonkette Zoomsgiving Thingie Is Your Only Friend Now
If you don't subscribe to the Wonkette Newsletter, then you are probably unaware that a shadowy cabal of dedicated subversives have been planning a coup. No, I don't mean Giuliani and his brain juice addled press conferences, I mean overthrowing Than...
Wednesday, November 25, 2020

Put Your Leftovers In Your Stomach, With Spicy Turkey And Squash Soup!
People have gone home. Our memories of a fine dinner with people we care about linger, while the evidence has been scooped into plastic containers and refrigerated. Re-purpose what is left into hot and hearty soup, as fast as you can, before they ove...
Wednesday, November 25, 2020

Eat This Leftover Stuffing Strata For Every Meal For The Rest Of Your Life Or Until It's Gone
[Editrix's note: I made this last year, and the year before that, and ate it for every meal until all the components were gone. It is absolutely delicious, and I don't even particularly like Thanksgiving food. So have at it, and you're welcome.]Are y...
Wednesday, November 25, 2020

Mamie Eisenhower Won The Cold War With This Lesbian-Soviet Hockey Rink Made Of Jello!
[Editor's note: We are running all your favorite Thanksgiving recipes today! Enjoy this one from 2009, from former Wonkette writer "Juli Wiener," but actually it is from Mamie Eisenhower and it is not actually called Lesbian-Soviet Hockey Rink. That...
Wednesday, November 25, 2020

Betty Ford's Boozy Chocolate Cake
Who can forget this classic Thanksgiving liquor cake recipe from First Lady Betty Ford? Our dearly departed Juli Weiner wrote this up several Thanksgivings ago, and we still reprint it every year, even though she left us to write Harry Potter slash f...
Wednesday, November 25, 2020

Buttercup Squash Pie To Bring To Thanksgiving Dinner
Farm boy, make me a pie. Just last week, you were talking to your Thanksgiving host, and you made the mistake of being polite and asking if there is anything you can bring. And she said, "Oh, you're so thoughtful; something for dessert would be gre...
Wednesday, November 25, 2020

(PSSST *Grandma* Wonkette's Pineapple Orange Cranberry Sauce Is Better, Actually)
For years now -- seven at least, suckers -- we have been making Aunt Wonkette's Real Cranberry Business. It's great! (Needs more sugar. Not Oprah-level four damn cups, but one would be nice.) But last year, we did not do that. We wanted pineapple, wh...
Wednesday, November 25, 2020

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